Rebuilding Confidence After a Break-Up There are so many things that occur during relationships and breakups that can be devastating. Sometimes they are so bad you get completely knocked off your "high horse". I am going to tell you one very simple thing, It's Okay. It is actually normal to get knocked at certain times in life but what is not acceptable is to stay down! You are not allowed to wallow in self-pity for an extremely long period of time. At most I would say that it is only okay to be in that stage for month or two. Anything more than that is asking for a level of depression, in which you will need to seek medical help, such as counseling.