Messages to Myself: Oh, I have learned.

-
Good Morning,

So I wake up to a voice telling me and encouraging me to let go. The voice sounded like my own but something in me told em it was heaven sent. Told me I don't deserve to be in a relationship like this. I don't need him and if it's God's will for us to be together then he will say something or do something to prove it.

But why am I holding on to someone who continuously  puts me on an emotional roller coaster and strings my heart along? Why do I love so passionately but stay with someone who tells me that my love and everything I do is substandard? Why am I with a black man that calls me "Queen" but treats me like a peasant?

I am heaven sent, blessed, and a joy but I have never felt so low before in my whole life. Especially emotionally because of a person I thought loved me. I am stronger and better than this, so why do I stay? Because of hope? Because my heart doesn't want to let go? Because I would feel like I have lost and let the other woman win?

There is no winner in this to a gain a man that can't remain faithful and manipulates situations to make himself the good guy to two different women...There is no winner. To have a man that can sleep in one's bed nightly but daily tell the other he loves her...There is no winner.

I am weak by myself BUT so very strong in Christ, I know I don't need to feel this way any longer. I am blessed. I am strong and I am valuable. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. No evil shall defeat me. No man shall corrupt or demean me. No woman will take my true heaven sent love and no true love will give it away. And I have learned that love is invaluable, cant but it or sell it. I have learned that love doesn't make you weak but builds you up.

Oh, I have learned!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Thing of Beauty

-
Image
Black Female Extravaganza 2011 March 19, 2011 at 7pm Phillips Center for the Performing Arts The women have been practicing and having rehearsals since last semester and it all came down to this finally show. They have just one chance to get each line right, execute each move with perfect precision, and hit every note on time. The room slowly fills up with friends and family waiting for the show to start. A voice comes over the speaker system, "Please stand for the Negro National Anthem".  The Black Female Extravaganza (BFE) singers take the stage and give everyone a sample of what they have been waiting for. The introduction had everyone hooked, with angelic voices singing in unison but still managing to maintain their own unique tones for the audience to cherish. These women blessed our ears through out the show with ease.  As the finale is close approaching the lovely ladies strut their stuff at the end of the show. After the show had com to a close fami
Continue Reading

Worthy Magazine! Finally here and FEARLESS!

-
Image
http://www.worthy-magazine.com/ It started with a thought that was simply turned into a dream. And now that dream has become a reality for not only JCSamuels (my UOM) but also for the magazine staff of Worthy Magazine . After planning and sometimes hitting the drawing boards to gain perfection, the first issue of Worthy Magazine is now out and ready for you WORTHY readers.  The magazine is a perfect composition of all the contributors and something so much more. Written for the Worthy by the Worthy , who else could create a magazine that has so much to offer and from such a down-to-earth perspective? Of course the only group of people that has seen the media and lived it, from the Worthy Consumer stand point. I am not saying this just because the Chief Editor and Founder is one of my dearest friends but simply because it is the truth! In addition, I write a column for the magazine as the Life Guru.   Please check out the magazine that is written for you because Y
Continue Reading

Sunshine

-
Image
A lot of things have happened in that past two years between Joy & Sunshine. They have had their ups and down, break ups and make ups. Regardless it has always been love. Even now with the two separate   for the time being or if may be forever there is still LOVE . Here is a walk through memory lane of their love.
Continue Reading