Messages to Myself: Oh, I have learned.
Good Morning,
So I wake up to a voice telling me and encouraging me to let go. The voice sounded like my own but something in me told em it was heaven sent. Told me I don't deserve to be in a relationship like this. I don't need him and if it's God's will for us to be together then he will say something or do something to prove it.
But why am I holding on to someone who continuously puts me on an emotional roller coaster and strings my heart along? Why do I love so passionately but stay with someone who tells me that my love and everything I do is substandard? Why am I with a black man that calls me "Queen" but treats me like a peasant?
I am heaven sent, blessed, and a joy but I have never felt so low before in my whole life. Especially emotionally because of a person I thought loved me. I am stronger and better than this, so why do I stay? Because of hope? Because my heart doesn't want to let go? Because I would feel like I have lost and let the other woman win?
There is no winner in this to a gain a man that can't remain faithful and manipulates situations to make himself the good guy to two different women...There is no winner. To have a man that can sleep in one's bed nightly but daily tell the other he loves her...There is no winner.
I am weak by myself BUT so very strong in Christ, I know I don't need to feel this way any longer. I am blessed. I am strong and I am valuable. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. No evil shall defeat me. No man shall corrupt or demean me. No woman will take my true heaven sent love and no true love will give it away. And I have learned that love is invaluable, cant but it or sell it. I have learned that love doesn't make you weak but builds you up.
Oh, I have learned!
So I wake up to a voice telling me and encouraging me to let go. The voice sounded like my own but something in me told em it was heaven sent. Told me I don't deserve to be in a relationship like this. I don't need him and if it's God's will for us to be together then he will say something or do something to prove it.
But why am I holding on to someone who continuously puts me on an emotional roller coaster and strings my heart along? Why do I love so passionately but stay with someone who tells me that my love and everything I do is substandard? Why am I with a black man that calls me "Queen" but treats me like a peasant?
I am heaven sent, blessed, and a joy but I have never felt so low before in my whole life. Especially emotionally because of a person I thought loved me. I am stronger and better than this, so why do I stay? Because of hope? Because my heart doesn't want to let go? Because I would feel like I have lost and let the other woman win?
There is no winner in this to a gain a man that can't remain faithful and manipulates situations to make himself the good guy to two different women...There is no winner. To have a man that can sleep in one's bed nightly but daily tell the other he loves her...There is no winner.
I am weak by myself BUT so very strong in Christ, I know I don't need to feel this way any longer. I am blessed. I am strong and I am valuable. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. No evil shall defeat me. No man shall corrupt or demean me. No woman will take my true heaven sent love and no true love will give it away. And I have learned that love is invaluable, cant but it or sell it. I have learned that love doesn't make you weak but builds you up.
Oh, I have learned!
Comments