Rules for Females When Dealing with Men by Nemo

Rule #1 ladies: Men are not mind readers.

Rule #2 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. #FirstWorldProblems

Rule #3 Sunday sports are like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.


Rule #4 Crying is blackmail.

Rule #5 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints, Strong hints, Obvious hints do not work! Just say it

Rule #6 Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Rule #7 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Rule #8 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

Rule #9 If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Rule #10 Dont ask us "Do You think Im fat" You know what you are. Either you accept it and move on or keep quiet. Its a setup.

Rule #11 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

Rule #12 u can either ask us to do something, or u can tell us how u want it done. Not both. If you already know what you want do it yo self

Rule #13 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Rule #14 Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we

Rule #15 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.

Rule #16 If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that

Rule #17 If we ask what is wrong and u say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know u are lying.

Rule #18 If you ask a question you don't want the answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Rule #19 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

Rule #20 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

Rule #21 You have enough clothes. 

#22 You have too many shoes. 

#23 I am in shape. Round is a shape!