Best Convo ever..tear & thanks esther
location: home
mood: 
thankful
music: mariah carey
TwinkE71589: and also, print out poems
TwinkE71589: history read for slave rebellion
Trufful40: if my printer ever works
Trufful40: from where
TwinkE71589: omygawsh ur printer doesnt wrk? crap
TwinkE71589: hatian rebellion
Trufful40: ok yeah it dont but i will print them some how
TwinkE71589: are u still printing mine?
Trufful40: if i get mine done yeah
TwinkE71589: k
Trufful40: hey where do u go to change ur myspace layout?
TwinkE71589: where u put the html code for ur current myspace layout
TwinkE71589: u delete the old html code, and put the one u want
Trufful40: no to get the layout
Trufful40: like the website
TwinkE71589: oh well there are alot. go to google. and type in myspace layouts
TwinkE71589: and u just browse for them
Trufful40: okay thanks
TwinkE71589: ur welk
Trufful40: lol
TwinkE71589: lolololol
Trufful40: anyways i feel so sad
TwinkE71589: y?
TwinkE71589: ?
TwinkE71589: oh theres an NHS meeting tomorrow
Trufful40: i dunno my mom was home all day yesterday wit me and it was fun and then yesterday i saw mikes fren and me and him are cool and we hugged and it reminded me of how crappy mike made me feel...even if its his lose. i hvae no guy in my life for the first time since i broke up wit francis.its a lil scary
Trufful40: i know
TwinkE71589: its a little scary if you feel like you HAVE to have a guy in ur life. i dont think its scary that u dont have a guy, but that ur scared of not having a guy
TwinkE71589: Guys are just like that, unless u find the perfect one, theyll always lets u down. and when u put so much into a relationship, ur gonna get hurt.....
Trufful40: no i dont feel like i have to at all.it more cuz i am finally in the mature enuff stage to kno i dont.its like the scary part is i'm growin up and leavin it all behind and its like i dont want to but its like i know i have too. if that makes sense?i know but its like wat hurt is the fact that i wasnt goin to waste my time on this guy but he pushed for it more than any other guy and he screwed me ova it like WTF! LOL sorry
TwinkE71589: lol and thats the whitney talk
TwinkE71589: so its scarin u that u realize u DONT need a guy in ur life?
Trufful40: yeah i guess so. i mean before i was just pissed he tried me u know and now i have no guy like gabe is gonna be there but its not serious. i just am actually lookin at everything and its like from the first boyfriend to this last guy they have all been screw ups and i think its in part me a the fact that i wanted a guy in my life but no like a boyfriend just the idea cuz its the closest thing i ever had to that male figure like a dad that i have been missin all these years..............WOW! thank u so much i never really thought of it like that thanks!
TwinkE71589: Wow Whitney...
Trufful40: wat?
TwinkE71589: thats like so deep
Trufful40: omg this is gonna be a blog when we r done lol
TwinkE71589: haa lol
TwinkE71589: but listen
Trufful40: lol i am deep u should read my old diaries i had before i threw them out
TwinkE71589: and im gonna get kinda religious. no not kinda
Trufful40: lol shoot
Trufful40: go head
TwinkE71589: Dont think that a guy can fill, the void thats only made for God to fill
TwinkE71589: Even like w/o having a father figure.....that gap....that "fatherless" gap can only be filled w. Christ, cuz he is ur father
TwinkE71589: and i think thats what u have been tryna do, and its so common
Trufful40: i know its true but its like i want someone there to physically hold u know man i'm gonna cry. but he already has but i'm still looking for the physical person to fill that void.i guess it just a thing wit me i want to hold him and him hold me and feel it from all the angles
TwinkE71589: Aww, dont cry.
Trufful40: to late lol
TwinkE71589: i get whatur saying. but after that "physical crying" whats there?
TwinkE71589: more hurt then ever
TwinkE71589: have u ever truly tried to surrender everything, and ...b w/God?
Trufful40: lyk i had a dream and i cried the whole way through my dream while this person held me and said i'm here for you and i knew it was god or an angel but i knew its just i know keep lookin for the physical person cuz i know my dadd is out there but its just so complicated and hurtful for me to know that it like he doesnt want me u know and i want just a guy to wnat me for me and its like i will do almosty anything to feel like i'm wanted...key word almost! lol
TwinkE71589: Awwww lol
TwinkE71589: ur "Father" has nothin on the Love that Christ has for u!
TwinkE71589: for just Whitney, not Whitney trying to be someone else
TwinkE71589: and .....what ur going thru is a trial that God is putting u thru, so u can...have faith in him
TwinkE71589: even tho its hard
TwinkE71589: ...
Trufful40: yea i have but its so scary to do u know. and while waitin for him to come its so lonely for that moment and then its a wonderful thing. I know that but its like so much other stuff to go with it like the questions of wonderin y he doesnt want me or love or wasnt there or what i did wrong or is it me or all the questions just there! like god loves me no matter what and i know that but theres just that person out there, my father, who just doesnt and wont and i want to know why and i feel lke if i can get a guy to have some kind of feelin for me then it cancels out my question cuz then its just that guy who's lost out but there's anothe rguywho sees the goodness and gretness in me for me.i have surrender but i still want answers
TwinkE71589: AWWW Whitneeyyyy u make me cry
TwinkE71589: just cuz i know that who u are is an amazing person
Trufful40: gurl i have faith i may not be mega religious but lord know i have faith more than soem people.i just needed time to reach a stand still point you know like this. my life has been my trail not just this.sorry to make u cry its just me life aint all picture perfect but i cant lie its pretty CRAPBATION close lol POZZO!
TwinkE71589: Whit
TwinkE71589: i honestly dont think
TwinkE71589: ur putting full faith and surrendering to the Lord
TwinkE71589: ur life will B CRAP, until u fully surrender to God and say GOD I TRUST U!
TwinkE71589: my life is urs, im going to stop living it how i want.
Trufful40: i do one part of my life at a time and since u dont know the full story i am...not meanin that in a mean way but i have its just harder to do than other things. plus some other factors in my life didnt help
TwinkE71589: right
Trufful40: ur right i must say but it is really the only thing i hold on to now from wen i was young. i do mean the only thing and letting go of just this much forgettin the father part is closing bout 6 chapter in my life.like heres a brief look into the other reason i am semi boy crazy
TwinkE71589: ok............
TwinkE71589: hey are u there?
Trufful40: i want to have control over wat i do with guys.wen i was 5 i 5 i was tricked into playin a "game"...thats how i riginally lost my v-card. wen i was 10 the same thing then wen i was 12 walkin home a guy exposed himself to me and i had another 5-10 min walk home alone in a neighborhood where no one seemed to be that day. so not only have i been lookin for the father figure but i've been tryin to regain control of my body my life me. what was once a temple was destoyed 5 years after the makin
Trufful40: my comp is a spaz lol
TwinkE71589: wow Whitney
TwinkE71589: omy gawsh. uve been thru alot.
Trufful40: so yea. i know where ur comin from but hey its way harder to let go of two than just one and i just let go of wat i just told u so i'm almost there
TwinkE71589: Wow im pround of ya grl
TwinkE71589: hey are u home?
Trufful40: for a person who i dont consider my best friend i tell u alot more than i tell them esther lol man
Trufful40: yeah y
TwinkE71589: im gonna b around NIKKI's house and she lives close to u
TwinkE71589: maybe i can pop my head in?
TwinkE71589: hey listen to these lyrics their amazing
TwinkE71589: Lyrics:
You are the source of the life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of you
Chorus:
I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There's no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
TwinkE71589: hey grl i g2 go get ready the Beast is gonna come pick me up
TwinkE71589: call me and tell me if we can come over
TwinkE71589 signed off at 10:41:57 AM.
TwinkE71589: history read for slave rebellion
Trufful40: if my printer ever works
Trufful40: from where
TwinkE71589: omygawsh ur printer doesnt wrk? crap
TwinkE71589: hatian rebellion
Trufful40: ok yeah it dont but i will print them some how
TwinkE71589: are u still printing mine?
Trufful40: if i get mine done yeah
TwinkE71589: k
Trufful40: hey where do u go to change ur myspace layout?
TwinkE71589: where u put the html code for ur current myspace layout
TwinkE71589: u delete the old html code, and put the one u want
Trufful40: no to get the layout
Trufful40: like the website
TwinkE71589: oh well there are alot. go to google. and type in myspace layouts
TwinkE71589: and u just browse for them
Trufful40: okay thanks
TwinkE71589: ur welk
Trufful40: lol
TwinkE71589: lolololol
Trufful40: anyways i feel so sad
TwinkE71589: y?
TwinkE71589: ?
TwinkE71589: oh theres an NHS meeting tomorrow
Trufful40: i dunno my mom was home all day yesterday wit me and it was fun and then yesterday i saw mikes fren and me and him are cool and we hugged and it reminded me of how crappy mike made me feel...even if its his lose. i hvae no guy in my life for the first time since i broke up wit francis.its a lil scary
Trufful40: i know
TwinkE71589: its a little scary if you feel like you HAVE to have a guy in ur life. i dont think its scary that u dont have a guy, but that ur scared of not having a guy
TwinkE71589: Guys are just like that, unless u find the perfect one, theyll always lets u down. and when u put so much into a relationship, ur gonna get hurt.....
Trufful40: no i dont feel like i have to at all.it more cuz i am finally in the mature enuff stage to kno i dont.its like the scary part is i'm growin up and leavin it all behind and its like i dont want to but its like i know i have too. if that makes sense?i know but its like wat hurt is the fact that i wasnt goin to waste my time on this guy but he pushed for it more than any other guy and he screwed me ova it like WTF! LOL sorry
TwinkE71589: lol and thats the whitney talk
TwinkE71589: so its scarin u that u realize u DONT need a guy in ur life?
Trufful40: yeah i guess so. i mean before i was just pissed he tried me u know and now i have no guy like gabe is gonna be there but its not serious. i just am actually lookin at everything and its like from the first boyfriend to this last guy they have all been screw ups and i think its in part me a the fact that i wanted a guy in my life but no like a boyfriend just the idea cuz its the closest thing i ever had to that male figure like a dad that i have been missin all these years..............WOW! thank u so much i never really thought of it like that thanks!
TwinkE71589: Wow Whitney...
Trufful40: wat?
TwinkE71589: thats like so deep
Trufful40: omg this is gonna be a blog when we r done lol
TwinkE71589: haa lol
TwinkE71589: but listen
Trufful40: lol i am deep u should read my old diaries i had before i threw them out
TwinkE71589: and im gonna get kinda religious. no not kinda
Trufful40: lol shoot
Trufful40: go head
TwinkE71589: Dont think that a guy can fill, the void thats only made for God to fill
TwinkE71589: Even like w/o having a father figure.....that gap....that "fatherless" gap can only be filled w. Christ, cuz he is ur father
TwinkE71589: and i think thats what u have been tryna do, and its so common
Trufful40: i know its true but its like i want someone there to physically hold u know man i'm gonna cry. but he already has but i'm still looking for the physical person to fill that void.i guess it just a thing wit me i want to hold him and him hold me and feel it from all the angles
TwinkE71589: Aww, dont cry.
Trufful40: to late lol
TwinkE71589: i get whatur saying. but after that "physical crying" whats there?
TwinkE71589: more hurt then ever
TwinkE71589: have u ever truly tried to surrender everything, and ...b w/God?
Trufful40: lyk i had a dream and i cried the whole way through my dream while this person held me and said i'm here for you and i knew it was god or an angel but i knew its just i know keep lookin for the physical person cuz i know my dadd is out there but its just so complicated and hurtful for me to know that it like he doesnt want me u know and i want just a guy to wnat me for me and its like i will do almosty anything to feel like i'm wanted...key word almost! lol
TwinkE71589: Awwww lol
TwinkE71589: ur "Father" has nothin on the Love that Christ has for u!
TwinkE71589: for just Whitney, not Whitney trying to be someone else
TwinkE71589: and .....what ur going thru is a trial that God is putting u thru, so u can...have faith in him
TwinkE71589: even tho its hard
TwinkE71589: ...
Trufful40: yea i have but its so scary to do u know. and while waitin for him to come its so lonely for that moment and then its a wonderful thing. I know that but its like so much other stuff to go with it like the questions of wonderin y he doesnt want me or love or wasnt there or what i did wrong or is it me or all the questions just there! like god loves me no matter what and i know that but theres just that person out there, my father, who just doesnt and wont and i want to know why and i feel lke if i can get a guy to have some kind of feelin for me then it cancels out my question cuz then its just that guy who's lost out but there's anothe rguywho sees the goodness and gretness in me for me.i have surrender but i still want answers
TwinkE71589: AWWW Whitneeyyyy u make me cry
TwinkE71589: just cuz i know that who u are is an amazing person
Trufful40: gurl i have faith i may not be mega religious but lord know i have faith more than soem people.i just needed time to reach a stand still point you know like this. my life has been my trail not just this.sorry to make u cry its just me life aint all picture perfect but i cant lie its pretty CRAPBATION close lol POZZO!
TwinkE71589: Whit
TwinkE71589: i honestly dont think
TwinkE71589: ur putting full faith and surrendering to the Lord
TwinkE71589: ur life will B CRAP, until u fully surrender to God and say GOD I TRUST U!
TwinkE71589: my life is urs, im going to stop living it how i want.
Trufful40: i do one part of my life at a time and since u dont know the full story i am...not meanin that in a mean way but i have its just harder to do than other things. plus some other factors in my life didnt help
TwinkE71589: right
Trufful40: ur right i must say but it is really the only thing i hold on to now from wen i was young. i do mean the only thing and letting go of just this much forgettin the father part is closing bout 6 chapter in my life.like heres a brief look into the other reason i am semi boy crazy
TwinkE71589: ok............
TwinkE71589: hey are u there?
Trufful40: i want to have control over wat i do with guys.wen i was 5 i 5 i was tricked into playin a "game"...thats how i riginally lost my v-card. wen i was 10 the same thing then wen i was 12 walkin home a guy exposed himself to me and i had another 5-10 min walk home alone in a neighborhood where no one seemed to be that day. so not only have i been lookin for the father figure but i've been tryin to regain control of my body my life me. what was once a temple was destoyed 5 years after the makin
Trufful40: my comp is a spaz lol
TwinkE71589: wow Whitney
TwinkE71589: omy gawsh. uve been thru alot.
Trufful40: so yea. i know where ur comin from but hey its way harder to let go of two than just one and i just let go of wat i just told u so i'm almost there
TwinkE71589: Wow im pround of ya grl
TwinkE71589: hey are u home?
Trufful40: for a person who i dont consider my best friend i tell u alot more than i tell them esther lol man
Trufful40: yeah y
TwinkE71589: im gonna b around NIKKI's house and she lives close to u
TwinkE71589: maybe i can pop my head in?
TwinkE71589: hey listen to these lyrics their amazing
TwinkE71589: Lyrics:
You are the source of the life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of you
Chorus:
I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There's no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
TwinkE71589: hey grl i g2 go get ready the Beast is gonna come pick me up
TwinkE71589: call me and tell me if we can come over
TwinkE71589 signed off at 10:41:57 AM.
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