I need...

I don't think it's healing I need. 

I need peace in my home, that way my heart can finally rest. 
I want to finally be able to recover from the major heartache that I faced from someone I expected to build an empire with. I want to be able to here his name and not think that my last was supposed to be the same. I want to be able to smile when I hear songs that used to be "ours". I want to be able to say that my heart is a glow and not that I am letting my shield grow. 


I want to come home and not deal with issues of someone in my home when I rather be alone. I want to be able to be free in my own space and able to move at my own pace. I want to be able to sing and dance without someone thinking that they control more than what they do. I want to be able to tell them to go and not worry about a thing. 

I need serenity, so I am no longer stressed and can enjoy that I am blessed. 
I want to be able to enjoy each blessing without stressing about the way things will play out. I want to know what each decision I make is really about. I think that there are times that it is all just going great but I want to know it is better than what happened on a previous date. 

I need joy without the drama because I am tired of crying to my mama. 
There are too many tears being shed and few are tears of joy. I know that it is at times needed but nevertheless I want them to stop. I want to reach the top without having to hit rock bottom. I want to smile for days without having to feel the pains. I want pure bliss that is so good I want even remember the pain missed. I want to be able to tell her how well I am doing and the growth that I have made. Not cry about the time wasted and little bit of my heart I am lucky to have saved. Oh, when I cry to her the next time it better be on graduation day. Tears of joy while I say I have made it all this way!

I need this crap to end, stop picking the wrong lovers and friends.
I have gone so many years with picking the wrong one. The wrong boyfriend, the wrong friend... even the wrong best friends. I have done it so many times. I think that we all have at one point. I want to be able to finally pick the right one... or at least have the right ones pick me. I want the people in my future to be heaven sent and I want the people remain from my past to be blessed and our presences to benefit each other in more ways than one. 

I need my life in one piece.
I want to know that each time I smile it is for the right thing. I want my friends to be true and to never come to an end. I want my family to be strong and never bend. When times get hard and the love seems to drift away, I want my smile to brighten up the darkness and show the way. No matter what happens, I need to find peace, love, joy, and blessings. I will get there one day and I won't stop until my smile is forever resting. 

Life Guru